Moon Leaf, we meet again.

God, I am so glad na iba na ung staff sa moonleaf maginhawa :))

girl this is the fourth time (i think) na I went there with a guy for a mimil (milk tea, milk tea lang) sesh :))

oh no wait, technically third pala kasi yung first guy na i want there with was my ex so date yun and we were together so not counted. haha the other 2 and si kuya kanina mimil lang. haha hindi date eh.
getting to know sesh? hangout? chill?
whatever :))

dont laugh at me. I havent been out with anyone for almost 2 years na. so dont judge if im being skeptical and weird and all about what happened this afternoon.

like ko sya. not like as in like? I mean as a person, he's nice, kind and gentleman naman kahit papano.
pero kasi hindi sya ma-chat and/or text na person.
he's different.
he's not like any other guy na nakilala ko before.
papresko and stuff.
iba sya.

I'm cool namin if he's not interested and all. madami namang guys na nagkakagusto sakin (paki sampal nga ako at pakiuntog ung ulo ko sa pader ng matauhan ako sa pinagsasabi ko ) hahaha

I mean you know me. I've priorities.
Work, grad school, family ang dami kong responsibilities.
distracted lang ako ngayon.



PS,
see? kaya ayoko ng nadidistract ako eh. I get off my track. hindi ko natapos ung mga dapat kong tapusin today.
hindi ako nakapag workout.
:(
sad life. but life must go on.

Rest Day!!!

first half of my rest day is done.

washed clothes
cleaned and rearraned room.
had ideas for my upcoming room renovation (ugh gastos)

next half ill be working out
then ill head out to have my passport renewed.:)

tapos i might do errands na din and go tambay somewhere to study and chill.

i need alone time so baaaad :D

until then. bye


PS, i know none of you are interested in my itinerary today but whatever, this is my blog :P

R E S P E C T

Is it okay to call me by my first name?
...if you're my patient?

I'm not being sensitive, no.
in fact, kahit tawagin pa ako ng "te", "ate" at "miss" ng pasyente hindi naman ako nagrereact.
kasi hindi naman talaga lahat alam kung paano i address ang dentista.

kahit naman ako di ko alam na "doc" or "dra" dapat tawag sa kanila, narinig ko lang sa magulang ko at kuya/ate kaya ginaya ko lang.


pero parang ang rude kasi kung tatawagin mo lang ako ng

"niks, pakitanggal naman ung dumi dito sa part na to."
"niksi, magagawan mo ba ng paraan na wag ako magkatinga dito?"

okay lang naman, kaya lang di naman tayo close.
for me youre being disrespectful.
pasyente kita, i do my best para maayos ang ngipin mo. pero dude, respeto naman.

ewan baka sensitive lang ako.

kung ikaw ba doctor, magiinarte ka ba like me?


PS
hindi ako naginarte sa pasyente. di ko lang pinansin. tuloy lang ako sa treatment.
hay oh well. masasanay din ako.

sorry kung OA reaksyon.

My patient followed me????

hahaha. nope hindi sya stalker.

kasi diba, nagpatransfer ako sa ibang branch. tapos sympre sa previous branch ko i have patients na "by request" na ako lang maghahandle sa kanila at wala nang ibang dentist.

ayun ung isa kong pasyente lumipat din sa kung saang branch na ako kasi nga dun na ako nagduduty.
nakakatuwa, nakakaflatter pero sympre lowkey lang tayo hehe.

Choose-day

Wala trip ko lang yan title ng blog today. Haha.
Wala pang pasyente today. Sana naman di bigla magdatingan this afternoon.
Yesterday, my patient gave us a dozen of j.co doughnuts! Yaaay! Nakakataba ng puso.
😂😍

Choose-day

Wala trip ko lang yan title ng blog today. Haha.
Wala pang pasyente today. Sana naman di bigla magdatingan this afternoon.
Yesterday, my patient gave us a dozen of j.co doughnuts! Yaaay! Nakakataba ng puso.
😂😍

Choose-day

Wala trip ko lang yan title ng blog today. Haha.
Wala pang pasyente today. Sana naman di bigla magdatingan this afternoon.
Yesterday, my patient gave us a dozen of j.co doughnuts! Yaaay! Nakakataba ng puso.
😂😍

Random thougts

82216
Random thoughts:

I wanted to, to lie down next to someone.
So bad.
I wanted to feel the air he exhales against my cheeks. As if it would crawl from my face to my lower extremities. Consuming my mind, consuming my body.
I wanted the two of us, to fade with the night. darkness would envelope both us.
I want us to fade into nothingness.
So peaceful, we won't exist.

I wanted to. To just be with you.

But who are you?

Where are you?

I popped my own bubble.
I saved myself from drowning in the sheets.

Nope, there's no one to crave for.

Rie's frat party + black market

So, the other night I crashed my friend's party.
Law school frat party sya so almost lahat eh either law students or member nung frat or legit attorney na. So bagong mukha ako, epal, fish out of water ganun. Well, i really did not mind though kasi i was there to have fun. Mag feeling bata 😂The night is young and so are we ang peg hahaha.

Anyway there's this guy who is kind of (i think) flirting with me. Hindi ko na sana bibigyan ng malice but then AJ (my other law school friend) made it obvious.

So ayun nga this guy tumabi sakin tapos he was asking me abt dental stuff and shit (dati ako mapapagdiscuss mo pa ako about promoting dental health and you could ask me about your concerns, semi consultation ganun pero ngayon ayoko na magsabi ng wala ka sa dental chair at di ko nakikita, hindi na ako nagffree consultation. Charot. I somehow find it unprofessional lang. baka ako lang yun)

So may sinabi ako sa kanya and this is how it went (ung natatandaan ko lang)

Guy: blah blah blah
Aj: ahhh talaga
Guy: oo sinabi nya sakin eh.
Aj: sinabi nya sayo?
Guy: oo kanina over dinner, sa bahay kanina.
Me: *laughs* (na medyo na awkward na
Aj: dinner? Are you asking her out for dinner?
     Niksi oh he's asking you out for dinner daw
Me *more laugh*
Guy: shhh. Youre ruining my game (nakalimutan ko na pero something like that

Then he resumed talking to me.

He asked me to go outside to snoke, sinama ko ung other friend pa na magyosi din (no, hindi mo ako makakausap ng solo)

So ayun. After nun di na sya makalapit kasi i left them nag Cr ako then pumasok na ako sa loob ng venue.

Whew my flirting game is so not on fleek. Tbh medyo natakot ako. Natakot ako to put myself out there and at the same time ayoko kasi ng parang feeling ko dahil dentista ako yun lang talaga yun eh. Hindi dahil he knows me as a person. Mahirap kasi talaga timplahin personality ko. Aminado naman ako. And that someone na willing to spend time to really get into my inner layer edi worth it sya pagbigyan. Lately kasi fast track na lahat.

Anyway, going back we went to black market after to have more fun and appreciate how good the dj played sa BM. Kasi sobrang walang kwneta ung dj sa previous event sna nagspotify na lang 😂😂😂


PLOT TWIST
He was tagged sa group picture namin with friends, i checked out his profile and found out he has a kid and a wife. Oh my God.

*brithey's womanizer plays* kaloka. Guyssxxz these days 🐽😒😴 kainis

Hey, hey, hey!:)))

haven't updated this blog in like foreeeeveeeer.

ive been really busy with work and my social life. yay! may social life na ako. haha

but then, sobrang napagod ako. haha.
oonga pala, pumapasok na ako ulit. ortho post grad training sooo. ayun aral aral na naman.

anyway, so i tried to balance my social life, studies and work. ayun. namatay ako.
not literally died, but sobrang na drain ko sarili ko.
because i wanted to give time sa social life ko and meet my old friends, nawalan naman ako ng time for myself. which is why. this week. idk. haha. plus sympre ang gastos. july has been a very busy month for me. ive a birthday party to attend pa sa 31st and im not sure anymore if i could still go because. work. studies. and myself.

sobrang busy ko wala na akong time maligo at mag toothbrush.
hahaha. pero sympre joke lang yon.
basta wala na akong time na magmuni muni at magisip isip eh ako pa naman ung klase ng tao na kelangan ng ganung klaseng intimate time for myself. na ako lang magisa.

siguro nga kung marunong ako magmaneho ng sasakyan magsasayang ako ng gasolina and i'll drive around kahit wala naman akong pupuntahan. haha. alam mo yon.

anyway, wala akong mailagay na magandang content pa dito siguro life updates lang.

and oh, i'm still single. di talaga kaya. i can't find someone na worth it na hatian pa ng time ko. siguro next time na lang next year o kaya next, next year. ewan. bahala na. not looking and not rushing.
kbye!

edi ikaw na!

as much as possible i don't like to post negativity in this blog. but my convo with this person who thinks he is so much better than everyone else met my wrath.

i mean seriously ang liit ng tingin nya sakin when i told this person na goal ko this year magka abs.
sabi nya "GOAL NA YUN?"

dude, have you  heard of short term goals and long term goals? if you haven't GOOGLE MO G*GO.

sobrang inis na kasi ako dun sa taong yun, feel nya galing nya. ayaw nga tumanggap ng criticism kahit mali sya eh.
psh.

fyi, i have bigger goals but i'd rather keep it to myself kesa ipagyabang tulad mo. feeling mataas eh kahit hindi.

FINALLY!

I have been busy lately. i havent blogged in a long time. lol.
well I kind pf have drafts pero i never finished writing them. lol

I have been busy going out with my seniors and co juniors last month tapos ngayon naman ive been busy working out after work.
i am in a balik alindog progra, rainy season edition lol. hahaha.
i know its way past summer na tas ngayon lang ako nagwoworkout.
eh kasi hindi din naman ako nakapagsummer this year.

what we did in cebu is kind of puro work related tas after that wala na.
ayun.
hahaha.
anyway, what else have i missed...
oooh! my bestfriend cousin gave birth na.
hmmm ano pa ba..
hmmm. ayun lang wala na. hahaha tomorrow if ihave any updates pa :D

nakakalungkot.

nalulungkot na naman ako.
paano, nagasgasan na naman yung pinagkakaingat ingatan kong "ego"
shet. haha.
de, seryoso.

paano pakiramdam ko nadamay ako sa "testing the waters" trip ng isang nilalang na kala ko mapagkakatiwalaan ko. sabi na eh, ang tanga tanga ko naman.

psh, anyway, i shouldn't be really wasting my time, thinking about this shit. paano, i'm too good for him naman. tsss. lol (ego boost sarili)

ewan ko, minsan pakiramdam ko naghahanap na ako ng bagong karomansa (yuck pangit ng term)/ ng lovelife.
pero kung titignan ko, masaya naman ako sa buhay ko.
kuntento naman ako sa ganito.

mabuti siguro idivert ko na lang ung atensyon ko sa mga mas importanteng bagay tulad ng pagiging mas magaling na dentista. magpayaman, magpaganda, magpasexy.
fuck love, i'm gonna be fucking successful.

lol. char lang. haha

ladies and gentlemen, classic example of a woman. iba! iba ang pagiba ng mood. kakaloka :))

room renovation.

so currently, im trying to save up extra for my room renovation.
i'm planning to have black and white walls and a part would be marbled. (yaaasss, hopefully wont fuck it up.) so i'd prolly spray paint some of my furniture na hindi white or black.
My major problem is my floor. it's effing pink tiles. what am i gonna do about it? i'd prolly spend so much if i am to change it plus i cannot DIY it. hmm still thinking of a solution. maybe google could help me. hehehe. la lang just ranting bye!

February Favorites!!!

I know......... extremely late post na but these are some of the products ive been rooting for since february! <3

Disclaimer: I may look like I am trying to get whiter skin based on some products but no, I am trying to eliminate stubborn dark spots hehe :)

this scrub helps lighten my dark spots and scars. pero matagal. like ive been using this for

more than a month na pero slow sya. BUT it does make my skin really soft  so good job pa din. 

I have loved dove ever since I was 18!! pero this is my fave of all the soaps.

kasi ive tried the normal one yung white beauty bar okay sya, then I tried yung shea butter. it was really

mabango pero sa lahat this is my fave prolly because it helps in removing dark spots and in my case 

this soap dries out my acne. It works for me eh.  

Deonat is super effective in whitening my underarms. I need not to use a peeling set for my underarms. ive never used any peeling or whitening stuff for my kili kili. a friend of my recommended deonat and read a few reviews online, and tadaaah! it really does work.

my skin loves thissssss. sorry I have an uneven skin tone (hence, the products) kaya i try my best to make them even and this one helps a lot. 

When I used all of them at the same time, they give me the best results naman. so thumbs up for all these products.

PS, it's my first time to make a product review eh, forgive me kung meedyo dry and bitin hehe. 

Clinician days Vs Legit Doc days

Honestly, I didnt imagine to be receiving this much respect ever since i became licensed. hehe

I mean before nung student pa ako, whenever we make tambay dun sa carenderia(sp?) pag free time or before nung nagrereview pa, we get weird looks whenever na overstaying na kami. i mean pag tipong two hours nang ubos food namin pero nakatambay pa din :))) HAHAHA broke days lol

but now since most of my friends and co workers still live around the area (mendiola) plus lately since ive free time na (or medyo sinisipag na ako to spend time with friends) napapadalas ako dun. and we still eat dun sa carenderia tapos now were being called "doc" na.
before pag bibili ako ng mountain dew self service ako kukuha ng bote ako magbubukas pati straw ako. ngayon sineserve na saken. whyyy ate im still the same old douche girl tambay nagkalicense lang.

wala lang. nakakatuwa lang. but to be honest i felt like nothing has changed naman.
oo licensed na ako, doc na ako. medyo formal formalan na dapat. pero im still the same girl.
i thought before when i was working so hard to get my license na everything would change na id become like this and that and all that crap pero no.
tumaas lang ung pressure pero im still the same.
what i need to change is my weight. LOL
just kidding :)))

anyway i need to watch crazy ex girlfriend na. BYE!

this substance.

this substance i'm not supposed to take.
kept me from saying the things i wanted to..to you.

this substance tried to kept me sane
but all I can really think of was what happened between me and you

this substance calms my soul
adds up a little bit of gravity
distracted me..
and it kept me away from you.

the things i'm supposed to say.
words i wanted to speak.
all of them locked up in my brain.
he gave me this substance,
and i lost another chance with you.

I am lost?

ewan ko ba fumufirst world problem ako.
eh kung problemahin ko na lang ung inet? lol
basta i don't feel like i am myself right now?
feeling ko di ako to eh.
may mali.
may kulang.
di ko alam kung ano. hay :(

CEBU dental mission and team building!!:)

grabbed photos :) :)
ESEC dental mission and team building! yay!:)

Salamat ng madami sa mga boss ko :) one for the books!:)

Joke lang

i was just joking about my post yesterday haha:))

Nagising na ako sa katotohanan one of my friends reminded me why i shouldnt overthink kung ano yun basta tawa ako ng tawa. Wala lang pala ung relapse of feelings na un. Chorva lang yun :)))

Yung moment na minessage ka bigla ni "the one that got away" #araykobeh

Shit. alam mo yung feeling na shit lang di ka prepared and all.
so instead of agreeing to meet up with the Mr. the one that got away, you turned down the offer even if gustong gusto mo just because of lack of preparation and nag hang ka lang bigla. di mo alam gagawin mo so instead of grabbing the oportunity na magkita kayo ulit. you lost it. you lost your chance.
it may never come back again and i,of all people, should know that.
pero i did nothing.
im so stupid :(
sayang.
wala na.
better luck next time.
if may next time pa
kung meron pa.
if wala
fine.
huhuhu.
#araykobeh

sorry if...

I havent made time to blog and update my life.
there's just been too much going on. ive been struggling and stressing about work and work requirements.

I guess ive been pushing myself a little bit too hard and when I dont meet my goals or my own expectations i get really upset.

sooo yeah. i'm sorry for doing that to myself and do you know that feeling when youve pushed yourself too hard and you dont get the validation that you want parang napapagod ka na lang and then you stop achieving and being competitive then you realize "pucha? ano bang gusto kong patunayan? pinapahirapan ko lang sarili ko sus. pwede namang chill lang. tangina mukha lang akong tanga."

i'm that kind of person kasi na laging naghahanap ng validation. before sobra sobra lalo na nung nasa relationship pa ako until nawala na talaga but somehow ever since i started working parang bumabalik na naman eh. which is totally wrong and i think i need to get back to my old self. not really old just the me that used to be when i was preparing for boards. anyway. ive mentioned it in my previous post.


i think i need to undergo therapy. i just really need someone who will listen to all my struggles and weird shallow problems cuz i havent had a single person to talk to about what ive been going through lately....

my mom, my gosh. she's a psychic. instantly knows that im not okay whenever i get home from work and all pero of course i wont tell her. she wouldnt understand. iisa lang naman sasabihin sakin eh.

hay ewan. hormones ko lang to

nagboblog lang naman ako pag mataas na estrogen ko pag malapit na ako magkaroon (i just realized now)
oa ung stress whenever im about to have my period. it sucks being a girl but its also better than being a guy.

haha,    

I want to be the "september 2015" me again.

I was reading my september 2015 blog entries and I realized I want to be that person again.
I was too good to be true lol.
i mean sobrang iba ako sa ngayon. I feel like yung crave ko to be successful and be the best brought out the monster in me ulit.

Yeah, gusto ko maging successful and all pero not when i'm like this.
I was okay naman nung september and I succeeded naman in passing my license.
I think when I'm away from other people, less polluted ang mind ko...

and since I went back to dieting and working out, sana maibalik ko na din yung zen type of person na ako before. yung No hate just love type of person.
not like this, i am srsly hating on everyone again.
i shouldnt be like this.
i could be hanging out with the wrong people :( I hope not. :(

Dear Mama,

i know you love me and concern ka lang sa future ko, pero you dont have to sneak into my laptop whenever i leave it open and take a bath.
Ma, don't worry. I dont have a boyfriend. I type a lot because DUH, I blog, i post stuff in facebook and twitter, I chat with my friends and cousins, I actually have a social life. Let me have my social life Ma, because all I do is work, go home and sleep.
I sometimes study for quizzes too–at work.

Being a dentist is not easy. and you should know mama that I have given up a lot of pleasurable things to be where I am right now. and this isnt even where I actually want to be. I still have to achieve a lot of goals and you have to trust me that I won't mess up. I wont ruin something that i've worked hard for. you should know ma, of all people, that I won't be that stupid to be in trouble or whatever stuff youve been thinking. I am better than that. I want to be successful and I want to make you and papa proud, i know I already did but i just wont stop there. I could do more and make you even more proud.

Please understand ma that I'm just having a life outside of work, today, I went out to see some of my friends. Ma, please understand that when I go out it doesnt mean it has to be a date with a guy. I have friends ma, youve met them during my oath taking and you know some of them.

Please wag kang masyadong paranoid ma, you have to know that ive already considered being single for the rest of my life and take care of you and papa til your last breath.
And I am not in a hurry to be committed to someone because right now i'm only committed to work and myself (my fam and friends). I just have too much on my plate right now.


Please do not think that I lost my temper because i'm being defensive. I lost my temper kanina because i barely even go out na and have fun and see my friends tapos the only time that I did which is kanina napagisipan pa ako ng masama. nakakainis kasi stressed and pagod na ako sa work tapos minsan lang magsaya with friends iba pa inisip.


*life oh life.

and duh, opening un ng clinic ng friend ko. i have friends outside of the fam. let me see them. let me have fun with them Please. wag nyo ko sakalin, baka may rebelde ako ulit. :(    

Another year + Quarter life crisis + Dear Mama and Papa

Nagising ako ng madaling araw this morning (redundant! haha!) tapos, I checked my phone to see kung ano na time kung late na ba ako ng gising or matutulog pa ako.

tapos 530am na, okay sakto lang di pa ko late. I checked my messages sa fb if nagreply na sakin bestfriend ko sa california. tapos, i was suprised to see na ive 4 msgs so chineck ko. may birthday greetings.

tsaka ko lang narealize na sheeeeet birthday ko nga pala.

OMG ive never been this stressed out or caught up in whatever that i'm currently doing (school or work) to forget about my birthday. Or maybe, signs of aging. matanda na ako and birthdays dont excite me anymore.

seryoso natawa ako nung naalala ko na birthday ko :D

Anyway, I am so thankful for all the blessings that I've received ever 2015 ended.
Seriously I couldn't ask for more.
basta, nung natutunan ko mag count ng blessings, hindi na ako masyadong nagrereklamo about stuff. hindi na masyadong bratty. i truly believe na yung pagsoul search/retreat ko sa hometown ni mama helped me grow as an individual. ang dami ko narealize about life.

That could be a yearly routine kaso lang mahirap maghanap ng time since i'm busy with work and soon i'd be juggling preceptorship and work so mahirap talaga.

I'm just thankful that I still have my parents to take care of me even if im an adult na.

Dear Mama and papa,
i know you guys wont be able to read this pero sobrang thankful ako na i still have you i know 2014 was a tough year for all of us pero im thankful na behave ka na papa and somehow napatawad mo mama si papa. It just proved na you guys are tough and no bitch can tear our family that easy. okay. stop na sa BS. ayun thanks kasi you still guys provide me with my needs na hindi nyo na dapat binibigay, you still bring mo to work whenever you can (too much no, pero thank you. im 25 na and you still make hatid of me thank you) thanks talaga mama and papa for believing and trusting me even if nagloko na ako ng sobra, thanks kasi naniwala pa din kayo na kaya ko.
I promise you guys, na if God wouldnt give me someone to share my life with for the rest of my life, i'd would take care of you guys til your last breath. if yun yung purpose ko its fine. kasi yun yung ginagawa nyo for us. You guys still prepare our breakfast and dinner and make hatid to us wherever we need or have to go. kahit na party pa yan, ihahatid nyo kami. thank you, you guys are the best. you guys may not tell us everyday that you love us(specially si papa) ramdam naman namin yun.


thankful din ako sa work ko and sa bosses, im thankful na i have very kind employers.
okay na din naman na I have spent my birthday at work. they made it special naman:)

basta I couldnt ask for more.

I believe in #forever #MayForever

Disclaimer: the photo is not mine, got it from google.


In about 2 weeks I'd be turning 25 and someone told me that, i'm supposed to be in a  long term relationship na sa age na yun. Idk but I think age is just a number, it shouldnt be something that would dictate kung anong milestone na dapat nareach natin sa buhay at a certain age(but this is a diff story). right?

Don't get me wrong, hindi ako bitter sa pagibig kaya ayaw ko makipagrelationship. in fact, I do believe in forever. I do believe that people who are in love with each other are capable of having a relationship that would last a life time, I believe in love, I believe that love could change people , I believe that love conquers all... Yeah, cheesy pero totoo (oooh soft side revealed lol)

I know many of us have fallen in love, have their heart broken and moved on. I myself have gone thru a lot of heartaches din. hindi maiiwasan, its part of committing in a relationship eh. i think when you love someone you should also accept the fact that you'll get hurt. hindi yung kasi alam mo na in the end magbebreak din kayo, you'll get hurt kasi hindi perfect yung taong minamahal mo. he or she will make mistakes not just once, a couple of times, pati ikaw magkakamali ka but because you guys love each other, in the end you'd still choose to be with that person despite of the things he/she has done wrong. di kayo perfect eh, tao lang kayo.

BUT. for some, hindi talaga. In the end, they'd choose to end things up. well iba iba naman ng reason basta hindi na sila nagmeet eye to eye. Hindi na talaga nagworkout or most probably AYAW na iworkout. they've given up on each other. which is totally normal. I think yung generation today mas career oriented. most of us would rather choose career than love. why not diba? hindi ka naman bubuhayin ng relationship and besides madami namang iba dyan. being practical lang.

And that my friend, is one of the reasons why I wouldnt allow myself to be in a relationship right now.

Ang dami ko pang gustong gawin.hindi pa ako ready, career over love lol.

Plus, I don't think I'm mature enough to accept someone who isnt perfect.
I mean, like, di ko kaya pa na magaccept  ng tao na alam kong masasaktan ako.
i'm still selfish and i don't want to have someone for companionship lang tapos made that someone believe na i'm actually thinking of "us" being in a relationship tas friendzone lang pag nag profess na ng love, in short ayoko na magpaasa.

I would lie if i say na hindi pa ako nagpaasa. I did. I have.
and hindi masarap sa feeling yung nakakakonsyensya. plus iisipin pa nila na user ka so wag na lang maging nice, ignore or tell them straight na wala kang balak makipagrelasyon.



what's my point ba?
i think kasi sobrang bitter na ng mga tao puro #walangforever
No guys, may forever, people get married for a reason.
maybe it's just not the right time or hindi lang talaga matured enough to handle a serious relationship kaya nagbebreak or nasasaktan.

kapag may break up, sana hindi laging bineblame sa iisang tao sa relationship ung reason kung bakit nag break. remember guys, dalawa kayo sa relasyon. if nagbreak both of you guys are at fault kasi hinayaan nyo mangyari yun. you guys are supposed to be a team diba?
kahit na may third party pa, isipin mo, ano ung reason behind ng paghahanap nya ng iba, maybe may mali ka din.

wala lang. I just realized that Love is about acceptance, trust, and learning how to forgive.
kung di pa ready na magseryoso, wag pilitin kahit na si girl or boy of your dreams na yan.
dapat talaga 100% ready eh. tsaka wag makipagrelasyon kung napilitan lang or takot ka magisa. sobrang No No yan. hehe.

kapal ko magpreach.
#randomrealizations #preach #love #mayforever

hormones.

my hormones make me more praning and more stressed lol.
buti na lang my period's over na lol.

anyway, ignore my previous rant post. nakakatawa, obviously, im just stressing out. #adulting lang lol.
kasssiiii ewan ko ba.

Ive nothing to say.

I am turning into one of those people who actually has no life. HAHA.
But do I regret it? Nope.

Im better at being someone na work, bahay, sleep lang kesa yung super in the zone na lumabas ng lumabas.

Ive been working for 4 weeks na I may have adjusted ng konti pero feeling drained and all pa din everytime i get home.

anywaaaay, I'm losing weight!!! effortlessly hahaha, ang takaw ko pa nga eh. sabi na eh, maging active lang ulit lifestyle ko, di na hassle magpapayat. pag nagbawas ako ng rice ulet tapos nag green tea sht nako I may be able to achieve flat stomach again yay! tapos kahit ung mga circuit routine lang na I used to do before. starting tom, start nako :) yay!

I just realized that there's a thin line...

between life and death..

Ang dali lang palang mamatay. 

I knowwwwww, I'm so redundant na, paulit ulit na. I know all of you are like "yeah, i get it, you almost died, so? the hell I care"
wala.
Okay, wala ka naman dapat paki eh. I'm just happy, I'm still alive. dodged a bullet.
I was so close to not being able to make it today.

Yung tipong pinabayaan ko or tinulog ko na lang what I was feeling last night, hindi na ko nagising hehe. And that would be a stupid thing to happen kasi I mean, I kind of have an Idea what was happening to me last night. Kahit hindi ako physician, napagaralan ko naman yun kaso lang
At first I was kind of in denial. Kasi In my entire existense, I never had an allergic reaction to any food I eat. kahit na sobrang lansa pa yan kahit na nung nagstay ako sa province ng mom ko, I was eating seafood every freaking day and I my body never had that kind of response.
Kaya kagabi, I was hesitant to drink an antihistamine. so nagisip pa ako, i observed myself for quite sometime kasi hindi ako nagrarashes eh.
I was just turning red. My whole body. it started sa face ko pababa ng lower extremities.

blah blah blah blah blah. fast forward, I was rushed to the hospital had shots and then boom, I felt better and alive. I cried thought, sakit kasi ng injection hinukay nya at first ung ugat ko na nakapasok ung needle. duddddeee. sobrang sakit. tapos naghanap na sya ng ibang vein, sa iba na lang sya na vein nagturok huhu. ouchieee to the next level. umiyak tlaga ako. hehe. arte no.

my parents were the ones who were worried af.
my dad was like, hindi mo pa nga naenjoy ung pinaghirapan mo tapos muntik ka na mamatay.
ang saya saya mo kelan lang tapos mamamatay ka.

papa and mama were all getting emo kasi nga parang kakapsa ko pa lang ng boards. im just getting started tapos mamamatay na ako. pero guys buhay pa ako.

atsaka napagalitan kasi dad ko. nagsabi ako na magtext sa tita ko(sister nya) na physician and ask her if may first aid or whatever. Pinagalitan sya haha, sabi ng tita ko "ano pa ginagawa nyo dyan itakbo nyo na sa ER. mamamatay yan" hehehe.

beastmode magdrive si papa and Im thankful may sobrang lapit na hospital samin kahit di maganda ung service okay lang, binuhay nila ako eh hehe.


my bugbog hands from IV injections.

GYM PLEASE :(((

I wont lie, its been like forever since the last time ive worked my ass out. :(

idk what happened, before, sobrang passionate ako about working out tapos yung benefits that I get from working out, specially neurogenesis (hehehe) tapos ngayon meeeh. walang future. tapos ang lakas ko pa sa rice lately. wala na talagang future. huhuhu. :(((

san ba ako kukuha ng drive to workout again? nakakatamad kasiiiiii.
after work kasi, i can't. :( I just can't huhu TT

yung quads ko tunaw na tunaw na, pati gastrocnemeus pati triceps and traps. whew.
isang araw lang na sipagin ako, surity, babalik na ako sa dating G na G magworkout LOL.

I knew it!

When I was still a student I would always tell myself na, I would never ever get an ortho preceptorship after passing the boards. I hate ortho. The undergrad ortho. as in, i don't like studying ortho. siguro kasi nagstart nung basic pa lang, hindi ko na talaga sya na gets. i won't blame my prof though. hmmmmm medjo siguro mga 10% na ayaw ko sa ortho is because of my prof sa ortho 1. hehehe sorry po :D

I just don't like it. hindi ko ma gets at ayokong aralin. hindi ako interesado eh. unlike sa pharma hehehe (it shows naman kahit sa scores ko sa theo phase hehe) sobrang interested ako pati sa patho and anatomy (which leads me back to...sana nagmed talaga ako--this is a diff story though ). anyway, so ayun nga, dont get me wrong, I like cosmetic/aesthetic dentistry. as in. I also like fixed partial dentures pero I dont like ortho talaga :(

*shet sobrang incoherent ko na naman, pasikot sikot ulit ako wait ulet*

so ayun nga, kung ano yung ayaw ko dun pa ako napunta hehehe.
yun pa yung una kong itetake na preceptorship.
To be honest, ayoko talaga eh.

but when I passed the boards I realized na its time to get out of my comfort zone.
its time to learn and experience something na I hate doing. plus ortho post grad, is soooo different dun sa inaral ko sa school. so hopefully, Id be able to love this branch of dentistry din.

I mean, hindi naman talaga ako passionate sa ngipin, im more interested in exploring the human body. yung mga pasikot sikot about the different systems pero siguro, i'm really destined to be here.
medicine will always be my life's "the one that got away" pero it doesnt mean na i wouldnt try my best to be successful and do well with the profession that I practice right now.

So ayun, wala lang. totoo nga ung sinabi ng sister ko na kung ano ung pinakaaway ko sa dentistry, dun ako mapupunta. pero this is just the beginning, id still practice on my own soon. well not so soon pero in time.

i have so much on my plate right now kaya stop muna ako sa future plans. siguro i'll just enjoy what I have right now. ayun.


PS, I love it pag natutuwa yung patients ko sa kadaldalan ko. kasi IRL hindi naman ako madaldal talaga lalo na pag first time natin magmeet. Idk, kung paano lumalabas kadaldalan ko pag may patient. hehehe. siguro, dala ng pangangailangan na magustuhan nila ako. lelz.
 

So not in the mood today

I feel so grumpy -_-

tagaaal.

joke papakabratty na naman ako :D waiting for my parents, ihahatid daw nila ako, yey!!! hahaha. tamad ko.
#babygirlproblems ##bilinaakopepperspray #agaaga #paranoidmom #walakasiakoboypren

Wow, Feb na agad :o

So, Ive been busy prepping for my oath taking (jan 29, 2016) and with work.
Sympre, Ive been making asikaso of stuff na i have to pass, requirements, you knooow, adult stuff hehe.

Anyway, hindi pa ako nakaadjust sa work load and change in lifestyle (from chillin lang to hustlin and bustlin) so yeah. Everything happened so fast eh, parang kelan lang i've passed the theo phase tapos biglang pracs na tapos biglang passed na ako both tapos work na and stuff. waaaaah.

I can barely keep up with the changes pero okay lang, makakaadjust din.

Work is hard pero fun since i have my friends with me. kung wala siguro sila, super seryoso ko lang.
anyway, alis daw kami ni mama, have to prep na. Finally medj nalinis ko na rin room ko naalis ko na (after 10 years) yung mga flashcards na nilagay ko all over my wall (literally :))))

busy.

I guess I wont be able to give a decent update about my life rn.
its been crazzzzyyyy. ive been really busy lately.
yun lang. dont wanna put in details kung bat ako busy and what's giving me a hard time. hehe.
oh well, oath taking tomorrow. so much errands today so kbye.

career.

Do you think I need to chill a little bit?
I thought I have gotten my life all figured out but then, i think i've figured it out too much!
I mean, What's wrong with me is that, i dont do "sakto", with me it always has to be a little too much or a little too less.
i can't do "just right", "exact" laging may sobra or kulang.

I have just passed my board/licensure exam and I know I should be like chillin and all but i am thinking about graduate school or post grad preceptorships. i dont even have work yet. lol
though, i turned down one of the interviews :D hehe.


my gosh, i think i need to chill a bit. enjoy work first and then study ortho after a few months. that's the plan.

esthetic dentistry, hmmm. im not sure where to enroll, idk, first things first, ortho.

goodbye social media. you make me lose my mind when I see my friends'/ batchmates' achievements and you make me want to compete. I just can't. i am competitive at heart. i need to relax. I shouldnt be envious when in the first place, i did this to myself, kaya ako nahuhuli.

uggggh. i hate this. shit. im stressing about unimportant stuff again.
sobrang no time for other stuff na talaga.
 

#adulting

I am making my CV. wahahaha.
i feel so old. -_-
goodbye comfort zone. hehe.
it's not like i havent worked in a dental clinic before. it's just that i feel that i have more responsibility now.
i don't know why. hehehe.
time to pay it forward.

Legit DMD here :)

did I just reveal my real nameeee hahaha :))

OMG, I still can't believe it! legit na!!!:)
all my sacrifices and hard work have paid off. yay!
this is for you parents!!! :)

May I never Forget...

Everything that I have learned when I was studying for boards.

I was contented and happy and focused in achieving my goals.

I hope I wont lose that. I feel like i had my inner peace that time.
sana i still have it in me.

funny.

funny how it looks so easy.
one moment i was self destructive the next thing people knew is that I got my life back on track that easy.

truth is, its not easy.
I struggled so hard to get my shit together.
I gave up a lot.
I gave up important things or stuff i clung onto (at that time, and they're not important btw, i just thought they were)

what I'm trying to say is that.
whatever ive been through. it wasn't easy.

basta. stop judging na lang kasi.

Oops.

Have I mentioned that I'm done with the pracs phase of my board exam already?
LOL if I havent, i'm sorry. its just that ive been going out a lot and this is not like a vlog na its bette if you see footage of stuff that I do while i'm out. anywaaaaaay.

anxiety strikes again.

I HATE NOT DOING ANYTHING. I GET CAUGHT UP IN MY THOUGHTS AND IT MAKES ME SAD AND UPSET. :(

yeah, maybe i need to spend more time with my friends.
friends. Do I have friends?
I dunno, even If i do have, all of them are busy.

plus, in my 25 years of existence all my bestfriends migrated to USA. yup as in literally all of them.

first, my first ever bestfriend when i was still in pre school. we were bestfriends until we were in grade 3 but then she left the country and during that time there are no social media or whatever so ive never heard anything from her ever since she left.

my 2nd bestfriend when I was in grade 5 to 6 migrated to US too i think first week of high school (1st year)

my 3rd bestfriend, high school til now, migrated to US when we were in 3rd year college(?)
it sucks no? we still chat and message each other every day though.

Am I cursed to not have a bestfriend beside me? huhuhu. :(
sad life.


ewan ko, i just dont find anyone na super nagfifit personality ko. Yung music, taste sa fashion and sa food. wala eh.

I'm fine without a boyfriend, just give me a bestfriend. pero sympre no one can replace jo christ naman.
what if i migrate na din? maybe I should.    

I'm Back but I have to go.

Slept more than 12 hours last night. It feels like all my pagod have accumulated kaya yun.
anyway, my views went up big time. what happened.

I have to got because i have to return my friend's dental materials that i've borrowed fro my practical exam. anyway hafta prep na. will update tom, if i have time :)

New year, New life? Nah.

if there's one thing that i have learned from 2015, it's you can change and become a better person any time of the year if you want to. It doesnt have to be around this time(1st day of the year).

Tsaka, its not that hard to be better. all you need is Will and Faith.
5ml of desire to change and become better,
500mg of Faith in yourself that you can become a better person
and  10mg of push from those who love you.

ad lib (use as much as you want, HAHAHAHA)

anywaaaaay, ayoko ng madrama 1st entry for this year.

quick recap, I havent updated this blog for a long time because i have been very busy with practicing for my practicals.(so redundant).
its been a year since I handled a patient sooo hello backaches and body pain lol (OA but true)

after my practical exam, i have an appointment with my dentist (my new dentist is Doc ABS! my bestie) plus another appointment with my tito fred, he's an orthopedic. I have to have my back bones checked. kasssiiii i feel like i have developed scoliosis dahil sa entire dental student duties ko and etc.
dapat 2014 ko pa to napacheck eh.

anyway, hafta go to my tita's place na.
i'll update this after pracs. starting tomorrow, i'll be loaded na.