I am beyond Blessed. :)

Thank you Lord for saving me. 
No amount of achievements and expensive material things would compare to what you have blessed me with.
Nothing compares to those blessings God. 
Thank you for the second chance. For having the time, to correct the mistakes that i've done. 
Thank you for letting me become who I am right now.
Leaving the dark path that i used to walk to wasnt easy. But knowing that You are walking with me towards the light made the journey bearable.
Thank you God. Thank you for turning this year into my best year. I thought it could be one of the worst. But like always, you proved me wrong.
Thank you Lord, thank you for making me believe again and for accepting me always.

Please, never let me leave your side again.
I love you and I offer everything to you. 

 You saved me Lord. You asked to come back to you. You accepted the worst version of myself and You let me be in your arms again. You helped me become better and healed me.

Thank you for the unconditional love and for giving me the most supportive and loving parents any kid could ask for...

 

oops. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

#KAGULOST

(edit: whoever said that going to the malls around this date would be a good idea? UGH.)

Sneaky Mirror Shot @ Boon Tong Kee (UPTC

What’s up with me? HAHAHA.

I have been reaalllyyyy, reaaaalllyyy busy lately, I’m terribly sorry (like, anybody care lol)

Anyway, I have been stressing so much about the practicals (last phase of my licensure exam). Becaaaauseee… ugh. No comment(Srsly though, No time to practice. busy lahat. hassle. di ko pa nameet patient ko. Di pa ko marunong mag wax pattern. Feeling ko behind na ako. My anxiety is killing me) .

I did not enroll in a review class because it’s way too expensive. 13k for four days? The eff! My review/tutorial classes for the theoretical phase is cheaper pa nga. Kaloka. I won't make my parents spend that much. Yung application fee pa lang and materials and bayad sa patient i think would cost me around 20k na tapos review pa for 13k? eeeh. no way. Ang laki na ng expenses ng parents ko for me. I can't ask for that much na. kasi hello, I shouldnt be depending on them na nga eh. 

Anyhoo,

I am so freaking tired. 

This morning, I went out with papa and kuya nel to buy stuff.(hanggang afternoon)

Papa asked me if I needed to buy anything, I said I’m good, I don’t need anything. He even asked me if I want that wallet from Herschel. I do like it but I don’t need it. (yup, nagbago na talaga ako haha)

So here’s a funny story. During lunch with pa and kuya nel, sabi ni papa, kuya nel and I should go ahead na if we want to go home na. okay lang daw if iwan na namin sya. Hmmmm. My brother and I gave each other the “look” (FYI: papa used to have a girlfriend. I’m not sure though if theyre still together. Pero obviously, we don’t trust him anymore).

According to him, he’s going to meet up with his cousin ( tito Junior). Ayun, nawala na kami sa mood ni kuya nel. We sort of think na he’s going to meet up with his Girlfriend/Ex GF. So sabi namin ni kuya nel, we'll wait for him na lang, magiikot ikot pa kami sa  mall.

Edi he left na, we waited for him na makalayo tapos hinanap namin sya ni kuya nel. My brother even asked me if I’m ready to see him with another girl. I told him idk, I’m not sure. Basta magpapakita tayo na nakita natin sila, if meron nga.

So ayun. We saw him at triple O’s BUT with our Tito nga. Tawa lang kami ng tawa ng brother ko. HAHAHA sobrang TH kami. Pero feel namin, he only met up with our tito kasi di kami pumayag na mauna na tsaka we’ll wait for him. Maybe the girl is asking for money. Siguro may secret kapatid kami sa labas. Omg. Di ako magagalit sa bata if meron but I’ll hate the mom for sure. My gosh. That bitch knows na my father has a family and yet dikit pa ng dikit.

Srsly, di ko alam. I bet my papa says na he’ll leave us for her. Pero asa ka girl. He won’t. He may not be in good terms with my mom all the time, but he cannot leave us, his kids. I don’t think so.

Bahala sya. I don’t think he’ll shame his self sa brothers and sister nya. Good luck with that.

ANYWAY, enough with the hattteeeee. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, paguwi sa bahay, samahan ko naman si mama sa mall. Ugggghh. KAPAGOD

Big difference: Shopping with papa = zero impulsive buying. Kung ano lang nasa shopping list, that’s it. Wala na extra

Shopping with mama= we have to stop at every shop na she see’s na feel niya may maganda. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh sakit sa ulo. And nahilo ako with mama.

I have to pass out na.lol

Anyway, sige na. fine, I’ll just enjoy the holidays. After Christmas, fine, legit practice na.

Whew. Everybody’s putting their families first. Maybe I should too. I need to loosen up again.

This whole goal/achievement that ive been setting up for myself, made me the uptight person I used to be.  

Idk, like I have to do everything sa To do list ko. And yung exact time pa. Nakakastress eh pero what can I do about it. I’m better that way than the other person I’ve been. Yung walang paki. Ugh.

Whatever.

  

 #BoonTongKee #UPTC #ILoveUPTC #family #christmas

too blessed to be stressed.

BUT THERE'S SO MUCH STUFF DO BE STRESSED ABOUT :((((((((((


LORD HELP ME :(

I PASSED!!!!

I still can't believe I passed the theoretical phase of my licensure exam! A step closer to my dreams!! yey! This is my Christmas gift to my parents. this is probably my best gift to them :)


anywaaaay, prepping over the practical phase is such a pain in the ass huhu. God, last na to, help me please...

Under Construction.

I'm trying my best to fix my blog's layout and template and all, I swear.
It's just that, I am too distracted to focus on anything right now. I swear. (daig ko pa batang may ADHD) :)))
plus, my patience threshold is like super down sooo i've no time to restudy html again.
gosh, I used to love html but now, meeeehhh. no patience.


So please, bear with this crappy site for a bit. (not that a lot really care)


(ughhh, pati yung pwesto ng ads di ko pa ma fix. :( sorry, sorry.)

But I cannot deny.
There are times that loneliness gets into me.

That...
Sometimes...
I feel like I need someone...
That I cannot make it on my own.
That I need Someone I can turn to... to hold on to. a shoulder to cry on.
I need someone else to comfort me.
Yes, there are times...


BUT...
NOT..
Most of the time...
Soooooo


LET'S CELEBRATE THIS FREEDOM!!!

:)))))))))


I can feel that there is this little chance next year...
i might give in to someone.
Only if there is someone who's willing to love me. LOL
if n/a...

celebrate the singleness still!!! hahaha!




**************I wrote this a month ago pa, pms lang to. LOL

Lonely?

1.
i am having mixed emotions right now.
Seriously, i could not be left idle. I think about unimportant stuff a lot when i'm alone (which is 99.9% of the time).

2.
AND I FEEL SO LONELY :( or NOT?
i've been used to being alone but idk whyyyy nowwwwww... i thought of it more. maybe because i'm not doing anything.
wah. plus i barely hangout with my friends or anyone.

3.
i feel like i miss having someone but i know na hindi naman talaga.
i can't.
career muna plus i dont have time to spare for love.
may right time for that, and now isnt the best time to be in a relationship or to be entertaining anyone (not that I do have anyone to entertain)

4.
anyway, i'll sleep these thoughts away. goodnight.

Recap.

Last night, i watched One Fight night at Moa arena with my brother.
It was fun, it was better watching it live than on TV.

im too lazy to post anything. wah.

How To Get Away With Murder

Slept four am this morning because i finished the first season of how to get away with murder.

Then the moment i woke up 10am, I started watching season two. im about to finished the second season na until the mid season ender.

omg. waaaah, this series is making me sick to my mind, its a good distraction though. hahaha
 

Whatever the result is...I'm still thankful.

Im really anxious about the results of the exam, i may not post it on my social media accounts(except here in my blog, cuz this is more personal) like some but deep inside, i am really, really going crazy as fuck.

BUT, when my dad said "Kahit ano pa yan, andito lang naman ako, susuportahan kita"
OMG naiiyak na ako. throughout this whole journey, sobrang na feel ko support ng parents ko.
And i'm super thankful for that, I would admit that I havent been a very good daughter this whole year, in fact, late 2014 and early 2015 i've been busy ruining my life and being selfish. Ive been thinking about myself only. as in. i never thought of how or what they felt from what ive been doing with my life.
And even after all of those stuff that i did, they still love, support me, treat me like i'm still 16.

Theyre God's best gift ever. My parents.
I love them so much.
I want to make them proud for once. di naman sakit ng ulo yung dala ko sa kanila.



 

November favorites fail + A Second Chance

November faves: I promise to post the pictures tomorrow. :D

I was busy, My parents took me out for lunch to calm me down/ to lessen the pressure that I am feeling :D

I have got no chill lately. uggggh. how long must I wait?:(

anyway, I  watched a second chance alone,

It was okay. It's not good as in super nice, it wasn't that bad too.

I just think, its too dramatic. uhm, I don't think that it would happen in real life. I dunno, i'm not yet married so idk, if it really does happen to married people in real life.
maybe if i am in a relationship or if i am married, i wouldve relate to the movie. but whatever its not yay! its not nay! its fine.


I only cried during the first part, yung wedding. hehehe. I always cry whenever i attend weddings soooo, yeaaah. sobrang nakakaiyak kaya wedding lalo na yung exchange of vows.    

i did not like the first part din kasi yung one more chance.
Its too fictional.

maybe biased ako? i like open ended movies, yung di sigurado sa ending , yung realistic. yung ending na hindi ginawa para matuwa ung mga manunuod. yung ending na alam mong nangyayari sa totoong buhay, organic, totoo. basta yun.

Dear Me,

Chill. God's got this. :) Lagi naman eh :)

Yay!!!

finally, I found a cool background for this blog and it is so meeee..

disclaimer: i do not own the image, i found it on google (as usual)

there's always something about stars that I love.
I mean ever since high school, i am obsessed with. they're just so beautiful, right? anywaaaay.

I might post a blog about my november favorites.
kind of too lazy to take pictures of them so maybe tonight, i get enough energy and creative juices to take a few photos of my favorite stuff last month :)


*****************************************

BTW, i recommend you guys watch the movie, Sleeping with other people. It's super funny.
Also, (this is too late to recommend but still..) watch uhhhmmm two night stand? i forgot the title but its funny too.

that's all. i might be back later if i remember anything that I want to tell you guys (whatever)

regrets?

Dear Mr. B.S. (HAHAHA)

hindi mo na ba ako kukulitin ulit ever? ready na ako. HAHAHAHA.

I'm just kidding. :))

I just have so much time to overthink.
And, I was just wondering, what if I gave him a chance.
what if I agreed to go out with him and get to know him better and start fresh (sabi nya, start fresh daw eh).

Pero, asa naman na he'd talk to me ever again.
Obviously, egoistic sya and i guess he went out of his way din.
kaso lang di talaga eeeeh.

Don't get me wrong hindi ako nanghihinayang. There could be no better response than what I told him.
I took the high road.

yup, tama lang ginawa ko.


I'm just trying to distract myself that's why kung anu ano na lang iniisip ko para di ko maisip yung dapat na iniisip ko. hahahahaha. omg hahahaha.
kthanksbye.

The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer

well yeah, but too lazy to put up something with sense here.
I have just been sleeping a lot lately.

Went out yesterday to chill out with my brother and his girlfriend.
Yup, i am such a pro at third wheeling i wont lie. lol.
I do third wheel a lot and apparently, it doesnt bother me at all. anyway,
I am currently reading the interestings by Meg Wolitzer.
It's funny i have just finished the first chapter. Maybe i'll do a review after ive finished the book :)