The Break-Up.

36 979 200 seconds/
616 320 minutes/
10 272 hours/
428 days/
1 year 2 months and 3 days ago (im too lazy to count how many hours/mins/seconds)
marks the last day of me being in a relationship (yaaaaay!!!)
of course, that very moment was probably one of the most painful moments that I went through in my life and i fcking promise i dont want to go through it ever again (if that's even freaking possible, but i dont think so - for now).

the relationship lasted for 2 years 7 months and 14 days, and that was the longest relationship I ever had. You could just imagine how terrible i was at that time.
how i cant sleep at night
how i cant eat and not have an appetite
how hard i prayed to God and asked him if I have been that bad to deserve the amount of pain thay i was feeling
how I wanted the ex back so badly and
how much tears I shed just to make myself feel better and at least let go of the pain.
Gosh, i can still see myself going through that shit. It lasted for a month or so, the mourning phase lol.
after a month, I can at least handle my feelings more, i tried to kept myself busy, stayed at my cousin's place because im trying to avoid my room cuz i see him everywhere, went to the gym etc etc.

i have lost a lot of weight but I have learned to be pretty, i mean like, fixing myself, putting on a bit of make-up, dressing up, you know girl stuff, which i barely do before when we were still together.

Moving onnnnnn, 3 weeks after the break up, my sister told me about this dating app, tinder, and she asked me to download it, it would be fun to just see pretty hot guys and see if i would have matches (but she never asked me to date them). Tadaaaa! Of course there are plenty of matches but most of them were after hook ups lang so of course, unmatch!

so i dated this guy named Alex (not his real name)... To be continued hahaha!

hey, what's up, hello!:))

sooooo, yeah. I am totally back to blogging (well i used to blog everyday but then - long story- lets just say i became too busy). this old blog of mine, i published way back in high school but because i'm kind of doing this fresh start thingy, might as well forget about it (but no, i wont delete it, its still fun to read hahaha specially updates way back 11 years ago when i first had the biggest crush on someone) and create a new one.... THIS!

uhhmm i have been through a lot lately. And if i give background that would make me start from last year. Its gonna be a loooooong flash back. Aaaaaand the first Part will be: The Break-Up.

i will be writing about it on my next entry so yea, ciao!

take a breather, over achiever!